My Tears

MY TEARS
By: Faseeh Biabani

Life is an endless struggle even with your prayers
I hold a sorrow which only I can bear
Where have you gone?

I stand alone and whisper, "save me"
For I see my soul steadily betray me
As I see my past trying to blame me
While I see my heart menacingly shame me
When I see my guilt forcefully declaim me
And I see my nafs frantically inflame me
Where have you gone?

It hurts. I want to cry but the tears wont flow
The words come out but the message doesn't grow
I've kept my eyes dry and my will so strong
Determined to let it burn for it doesn't belong
I've scrubbed and scrubbed, but the dirt doesn't stray
I've used the finest soaps, yet my face remains a darkish gray
I need internal cleansing.. cleansing of the soul
Tearing of the eyes.. Thunderstorms of the heart
Where have you gone?

Oh guardians of my Nile, give life to my prayers
Give liberty to my soul, Give ease to my heart
Give freedom to my eyes. Give a beating to my guilt
Give wealth to my mind.. Give hell to my nafs.
Give rest to my conscience. Where have you all gone?

What are tears, I ponder to myself
Nothing more than indescribable feelings
Love, hatred, fear, guilt, happiness, anger
Each tear inscribed with its own emotion
Each engraved with a story
Yet as inexplainable as our reason for life
Each tear heavier than our passion for relief
Yet as light as the petal of a rose
Each tear, as inexpensive as air
Yet as pricessless as our childhood
Where have you gone?

My struggle continues..
Without you I have no relief.
Thank you for abondoning me.
Where have you gone?

I close my eyes yet I know I'm still lost
The stars of the chain are my path
Help me home for I have strayed
Guide my heart.. you are my astrolabe
Where have you gone?

A rustle of leaves and the army's behind me
White robed and turbaned side by side me
A palm on my shoulder heaves my burden
I rest assured, as my heart stops hurtin.
So many opened, yet only one more curtain..
I have their guidance.. That is undoubtedly certain.
But, where have you gone?